Tuesday, October 19, 2010

The Nicest Compliment

In the last few years my life has drastically changed, within myself: My emotions and concern, things I stand for and believe in, what I think about, the way I treat life and people. I've always been a "late bloomer" and the people I had spent a lot of time with could see that change in me. It resulted in a lot of negativity.

First, I was aggravated a lot and I've taken it out on people without acknowledging it. I believe the aggravation came from  realization about the world. My whole life I lived in bliss and wasn't encouraged to think for myself, or find information. I believed whatever my parents believed, etc. I consider it uneducated, even though I went to school it's not the same. I was too involved in the media, celebrity, childish mind set. I didn't believe in myself, didn't know who I was, but still had (and always will have) the characteristic to care for others. I genuinely want to know about your day when I ask how you are. 

When I think about it more, it's taken three years to go over my past, learn who I am, and love who I'm becoming. It's taken three years to know there isn't an answer for everything and you can't always believe what you read/hear. It's taken three years for me to understand all the issues and "hot-buttons" and taboo in the world. I don't regret this time, and I apologize to those who had to face me on bumpy roads. I'm still discovering and sometimes the aggravation becomes alit, but it is not who I am. 

For so long I have felt haunted by people for things I've said and done, that it ultimately made me feel like a bad person. Three years ago I lived a completely different life so their reactions are understandable, but as sensitive and stubborn as I am it's in my nature to react emotionally instead of rationally. That's something I'm trying to work on, and I suppose we all have something to "work on." But anyway, it made me spend the day wondering what's the nicest compliment I could offer someone because even though to some people, I'm a bad person, or the ones I've hurt along the way see me differently, I still carry the underlining principles I've had since I was a child, even though I fall short at times.

With this all said, in my opinion, the nicest compliment you could give someone is your time. Obviously there are a lot of verbal compliments but I don't think they amount to something you do for someone. You can't get time back. I believe it's the highest compliment you could pay someone, which isn't often appreciated.  


  1. And, with all sincerity, it is my pleasure to take time to come and read your thoughtful posting.
    I appreciate our positive interaction. Please take very good care of yourself and keep smiling
    In kindness, Gary.

  2. Lovely post lettucehead-and as Gary said very thoughtful. I THINK you're a sweet person-I can't imagine anyone thinking you're a bad person :)

  3. Sam’s right, I can’t imagine anyone thinking you’re a bad person. You’re definitely one of the sweetest people I know! Great post :)
    The enigmatic, masked blogger

  4. I don't see how you could be a bad person.....

    Anyways, your right. The nicest compliment to give someone is time. Actions speak louder than words.

  5. Nicely put. And Melissa hit it on the head in saying that actions speak louder than words.

  6. I completely agree. It's also the thing we tend to be the most selfish with.

  7. Agree too, I felt different in this post, I felt similar at one thing and another.. I'm to emotional than rational too.. but i just realize that after reading this post..

    sometimes I pay good alibis just to makes my reasons reasonable, but there's only one explanation, I'm emotional.

    I have my principles too in my life, I learned them through childhood, but sometimes I tend to forgot my own principles.

    Yeah, I agree on the time.. being present to one's life and spending some moment with that person.. saying she or he is worth your time..

    i love this post.

  8. Wonderful post. I do agree, the best compliment you can give someone is your time and your understanding. I think a lot of misunderstandings appear because we're too preoccupied to listen to each other well, because we don't give each other enough time. So, I agree. Wonderful post.

  9. I have to agree. Genuine, undivided attention time. It's a rarity and it's the one thing that truly matters. I try to remind myself that when I'm pushing my kids aways so I can write. they just wanna be with me.
    Same with old folks. Visit a nursing home and find someone to talk to. They appreciate your time so much. I just wish I had more of it. :(

    Great post!

  10. The perfect way to say it. Time is something so precious and I don't know that we really think about the effect it has on people when we share it.


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