(cause I'm your baby still).
I didn’t think I’d say this anytime soon but I’m feeling all right. There hasn’t been a moment that I haven’t thought about my boyfriend, and trust me sometimes it gets the best of me, but throughout most of the day I am doing my best to keep things going in my life. Well, I’m starting to.
For a week I sulked in bed, not showering, watching movie after movie, and only getting up to use the restroom. I’m done with that. He wouldn’t want that, and I sure don’t want that. I miss him but this is where we are right now and it doesn’t mean we love each other less.
So recently, I made some changes.
I went out with my dad and younger brother to the lake and was amazed by the crisp sky and wandering birds. I can be very immature with my younger brother, so with that said, we laughed at everything. The dock was frozen when we arrived so we both tried doing our best moon walk. When we all calmed down and enjoyed the peacefulness the view tends to bring, I felt relaxed. Not lazy. Not unmotivated. Not sad.
My friend and I are joining a cardio kickboxing class. My shoulders and neck have been taking its toll on me and I’ve been needing to work out. We plan to do a lean and fit class too. We’ve tried a few places and it has already been helping me physically and emotionally.
I’ve submitted my short story and will receive the results in April. I am most proud about this because ever since the 7th grade when I started my first story, I have never been able to finish one. I have completed Strophic. However, it truly didn’t feel finished, but I had to let it go. I have started another story, which is currently untitled. I don’t know if it’ll be a short story. It feels like it could be a novel from the way it’s flowing out of me. The fact that I’m being more descriptive with my character as well is making me sense that. Either way, I’m seeing where it’ll take me.
I went to the library today and checked out three books. It sounds so weird to write this but I haven’t read a book in a long time. Every writer is different but I think it’s so important to read a lot of GOOD books. I’m trying to get that drive back, and I’m not forcing myself, I want to.
School starts next Tuesday, which will keep me busy during the day. As well as continuing my writing internship for athletics. I’m taking a math class, which is my worst subject. I haven’t been able to pass it three times now. I’m not doubting myself this time. I’m also taking Spanish, which I’m nervous about too. But I can do this. I need to stop complicating things that don’t need to be complicated.
The mornings are still hard to wake up to, but I’m getting there.
It took a long time to make it.
But I've never changed my mind.