I've been living with my boyfriend for almost four months now. My parents have always told me that no matter what relationship I'm in to be sure we spend time with our friends. It's actually been the advice from most people, and now it's an even bigger reminder. However, I don't think that's the most important advice.
One of my favorite bands is Mew. There is a quote from their popular song 'Comforting Sounds' saying, "Nothing is pure anymore but solitude." That line, as many other lines, has stuck with me ever since. So my advice, whether you're married, even have kids, or just starting a relationship, having time to yourself is most important.
It gets hard, especially when you're living with someone, to be alone in your mind and to understand yourself. We are always impacted by people. Sometimes we accept what people are saying without giving it a thought. When we are alone we are able to manipulate those ideas and develop our own. You will always be able to confide in yourself, it's the outside you have to trust. So spending time alone is a necessity.
Why do you think people say, after you've gotten out of a relationship, to be alone and not go searching for someone else? Even though we are quick to do the second one. Being alone is never a bad thing. In fact, it is quite a realization you experience.
My message is not bidding you to be away from your family, or lover, for weeks, even days. My message is go to the park alone for the day, go spend hours in your room with a good book, or ipod, go for a jog, or walk, watch a movie by yourself, sit on your laptop (like me) and write (I usually like to sit outside and get lost in the sky.) Just be by yourself, in whatever you prefer to do, because you need it, because you deserve it, because you'll always end up wanting that time alone.